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David Sedaris ist ein humoristischer US-amerikanischer Autor, Essayist und Radiomitarbeiter. Viel seines Witzes ist autobiographisch und bezieht sich auf seine große Familie, sein griechisches Erbe, seine verschiedenen Jobs, seine Erziehung und Beziehungen, Drogenmissbrauch, Homosexualität und sein Leben als Auswanderer in Frankreich mit seinem Partner Hugh. Wikipedia  

✵ 26. Dezember 1956
David Sedaris Foto
David Sedaris: 109 Zitate0 Gefällt mir

David Sedaris Zitate und Sprüche

„Ich weiß nicht viel über die wissenschaftlichen Aspekte, aber meine nervösen Angewohnheiten ließen nach, als ich mit Zigaretten anfing. […] Alles ist ganz prima, solang ich weiß, dass es eine Zigarette in meiner unmittelbaren Zukunft gibt.“

David Sedaris Nackt (Roman)

Die Mackenplage (A plague of tics), in: Naked. Aus dem Amerikanischen von Harry Rowohlt. (Auch unter dem Titel &quot;Nackt&quot; erschienen). München Heyne 2005 (2. Aufl.) S. 33 f. <br class="br">In STERN 7/2003, Seite 167 http://books.google.com/books?id=Ad48AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22nerv%C3%B6sen+Angelegenheiten fehlerhaft zitiert als: &quot;Meine nervösen Angelegenheiten ließen nach, als ich anfing zu rauchen - alles prima, solange es eine Zigarette in meiner unmittelbaren Zukunft gibt.&quot; <br class="br">Original englisch: &quot;I&#x27;m unsure of the scientific aspects, but for some reason my nervous habits faded at around the same time I took up with cigarettes. [...] everything&#x27;s fine as long as I know there&#x27;s a cigarette in my immediate future.&quot; - A Plague of tics

David Sedaris: Zitate auf Englisch

“The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Being locked up is one thing, but to have no concept of confinement, to be ignorant of its terms and never understand that struggle is useless - that's what hell must be like.”

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David Sedaris

“On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.”

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David Sedaris

“It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.”

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David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Quelle: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyone in possession of a penis? I'll tell myself that a sandwich is masculine because if left alone for a week or two, it will eventually grow a beard.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.”

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David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Quelle: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.”

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David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Quelle: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals and plump women who wear their hair in bangs. These are people who, for one reason or another, desperately crave attention”

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David Sedaris

“I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“whenever I read a passage that moves me, I transcribe it in my diary, hoping my fingers might learn what excellence feels like.”

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David Sedaris

“I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead.”

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David Sedaris buch Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

Quelle: Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

“College is the best thing that can ever happen to you," my father used to say, and he was right, for it was there that I discovered drugs, drinking, and smoking..”

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David Sedaris Nackt (Roman)

Quelle: Naked

“Their house had real hard-cover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.”

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David Sedaris buch Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

Variante: Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
Quelle: Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

“And when Hugh would grow progressively Gandhi on me, I'd remind him that these were pests---disease carriers who feasted upon the dead and then came indoors to dance upon our silverware.”

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David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Quelle: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“I was just struggling with my inner vachette and pondering the depths of my own inhumanity.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.”

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David Sedaris

“In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work things out for the sake of the apartment.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“In the beginning, I was put off by the harshness of German. Someone would order a piece of cake, and it sounded as if it were an actual order, like, "Cut the cake and lie facedown in that ditch between the cobbler and the little girl."”

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David Sedaris buch Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

I'm guessing this comes from having watched too many Second World War movies.

Essay, "Easy, tiger". p.80
Quelle: Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls (2013)

“People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“This was the consequence of seeing too much and understanding the horrible truth: No one is safe. The world is not manageable.”

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David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Quelle: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“There is still the outside world to contend with. A world of backfiring cars, and their human equivalents.”

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David Sedaris

“I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide… My mom was actually jealous.”

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David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Quelle: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.”

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David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Quelle: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“What I really hated, of course, was my mind. There must have been an off switch somewhere, but I was damned if I could find it.”

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David Sedaris Nackt (Roman)

Quelle: Naked

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