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David Sedaris ist ein humoristischer US-amerikanischer Autor, Essayist und Radiomitarbeiter. Viel seines Witzes ist autobiographisch und bezieht sich auf seine große Familie, sein griechisches Erbe, seine verschiedenen Jobs, seine Erziehung und Beziehungen, Drogenmissbrauch, Homosexualität und sein Leben als Auswanderer in Frankreich mit seinem Partner Hugh. Wikipedia  

✵ 26. Dezember 1956
David Sedaris Foto
David Sedaris: 109 Zitate0 Gefällt mir

David Sedaris Zitate und Sprüche

„Ich weiß nicht viel über die wissenschaftlichen Aspekte, aber meine nervösen Angewohnheiten ließen nach, als ich mit Zigaretten anfing. […] Alles ist ganz prima, solang ich weiß, dass es eine Zigarette in meiner unmittelbaren Zukunft gibt.“

David Sedaris Nackt (Roman)

Die Mackenplage (A plague of tics), in: Naked. Aus dem Amerikanischen von Harry Rowohlt. (Auch unter dem Titel &quot;Nackt&quot; erschienen). München Heyne 2005 (2. Aufl.) S. 33 f. <br class="br">In STERN 7/2003, Seite 167 http://books.google.com/books?id=Ad48AQAAIAAJ&amp;q=%22nerv%C3%B6sen+Angelegenheiten fehlerhaft zitiert als: &quot;Meine nervösen Angelegenheiten ließen nach, als ich anfing zu rauchen - alles prima, solange es eine Zigarette in meiner unmittelbaren Zukunft gibt.&quot; <br class="br">Original englisch: &quot;I&#x27;m unsure of the scientific aspects, but for some reason my nervous habits faded at around the same time I took up with cigarettes. [...] everything&#x27;s fine as long as I know there&#x27;s a cigarette in my immediate future.&quot; - A Plague of tics

David Sedaris: Zitate auf Englisch

“There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.”

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David Sedaris Nackt (Roman)

Quelle: Naked

“I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call "understanding" is basically just fantasizing.”

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David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Quelle: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“she took pictures of germs, viruses, and people reacting to germs and viruses. On weekends, for extra money, she photographed weddings, which really wasn't that much of a stretch”

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David Sedaris buch Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

Quelle: Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

“In Japanese and Italian, the response to ["How are you?"] is "I'm fine, and you?" In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by "Not so good.”

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David Sedaris buch Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

Quelle: Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

“Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.”

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David Sedaris buch Holidays on Ice

Quelle: Holidays on Ice

“there's a reason regular people don't appear on TV: we're boring.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“I can't promise I'll never kill anyone again," he once said, strapping a refrigerator to his back. "It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“clatter of a typewriter suggests that you're actually building something.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“He die one day, and then he go above of my head to live with your father."
He weared the long hair, and after he died, the first day he come back here for to say hello to the peoples."
He nice, the Jesus.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quelle: Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Like anyone nostalgic for a time he didn't live through, I chose to weed out the little inconveniences: polio, say, or the thought of eating stewed squirrel. The world was simply grander back then, somehow more civilized, and nicer to look at.”

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David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Quelle: When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment.”

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David Sedaris buch Holidays on Ice

Quelle: Holidays on Ice

“You haven't lived until you've sailed”

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David Sedaris

Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002

“… name association was big, as were my presumed interests in vaudeville and politics. In St. Louis the Bow tie was characterized as "very Charlie McCarthy", while in Chicago a young man defined it as "the pierced eyebrow of the Republican party."”

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David Sedaris When You Are Engulfed in Flames

On stereotypes of bowtie wearers, [Sedaris, David, David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Little, Brown and Company, Buddy, Can You Spare a Tie?, 2008, 0316143472]
When You Are Engulfed in Flames (2008)

“After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of the these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“If finding an apartment is like falling in love, buying one is like proposing on your first date and agreeing not to see each other until the wedding.”

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David Sedaris buch Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim (2004)

“on genders of nouns: Why refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied?”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“For the first twenty years of my life I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even make it to bed. I'd squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I'm now told that this is not called "going to sleep" but rather "passing out," a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks.”

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David Sedaris Nackt (Roman)

Naked (1997)

“If cooking is an art, I think we're in our Dada phase.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“Because I'm both a glutton and a masochist, my standard complaint, "That was so bad", is always followed by "And there was so little of it!"”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“The word phobic has its place when properly used, but lately it's been declawed by the pompous insistence that most animosity is based upon fear rather than loathing. No credit is given for distinguishing between these two very different emotions.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“Friends always say, "How can you eat those? I read in the paper that they're made from hog's lips."
"And…?"
"And hearts and eyelids."”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“"You kids think you invented sex," my mother was fond of saying. But hadn't we? With no instruction manual or federally enforced training period, didn't we all come away feeling we'd discovered something unspeakably modern? What produced in others a feeling of exhilaration left Jason and me with a mortifying feeling of guilt. We fled the room as if, in our fumblings, we had uncapped some virus we still might escape if we ran fast enough. Had one of the counselors not caught me scaling the fence, I felt certain I could have made it back to Raleigh by morning, skittering across the surface of the ocean like one of those lizards often featured on television wildlife programs.”

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David Sedaris Nackt (Roman)

Essay: "I like guys". (p.106-107) [Page numbers per the 2006 Abacus paperback edition.]
Naked (1997)

“They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgeable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.”

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David Sedaris buch Me Talk Pretty One Day

Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)

“People had their places, and to not understand that, to act in violation of it, demoted you from a nature nut to something even lower, a complete untouchable, basically.”

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David Sedaris buch Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

Essay, "Loggerheads". p.68
Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls (2013)

“Something has changed, and now, when I look at my students, I see only people who are going to eat up my time.”

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David Sedaris

17.01.1989 - p.201
Theft by Finding: Diaries, Volume 1 (1977-2002) (2017)

“It's fun to see where people live.”

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David Sedaris

20.01.1979 - p.29
Theft by Finding: Diaries, Volume 1 (1977-2002) (2017)

“I Photo Elfed all day for a variety of Santas and it struck me that many of the parents don't allow their children to speak at all. A child sits upon Santa's lap and the parents say, 'All right now, Amber, tell Santa what you want. Tell him you want a Baby Alive and My Pretty Ballerina and that winter coat you saw in the catalog.'
The parents name the gifts they have already bought. They don't want to hear the word 'pony' or 'television set,' so they talk through the entire visit, placing words in the child's mouth. When the child hops off the lap, the parents address their children, each and every time, with, 'What do you say to Santa?'
The child says, 'Thank you, Santa.'”

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David Sedaris buch Barrel Fever

It is sad because you would like to believe that everyone is unique and then they disappoint you every time by being exactly the same, asking for the same things, reciting the exact same lines as though they have been handed a script.
All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to the fingerprints.
Essay, "Santaland diaries" - p.233-234, 235
Barrel Fever (1994)

“In first class, you count on your fellow passengers to make you feel good about yourself. You're supposed to look around with pride, telling yourself that these are your kind of people.”

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David Sedaris

21.07.2001 - p.445
Theft by Finding: Diaries, Volume 1 (1977-2002) (2017)

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