Zitate von Woody Allen

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Woody Allen

Geburtstag: 1. Dezember 1935

Woody Allen , bürgerlich seit 1952 Heywood Allen, ist ein US-amerikanischer Komiker, Filmregisseur, Autor, Schauspieler und Musiker. Neben den über 50 Filmen als Drehbuchautor und Regisseur hat er zahlreiche Erzählungen, Theaterstücke und Kolumnen geschrieben. Darüber hinaus ist er passionierter Jazzmusiker.

Allen ist einer der produktivsten Filmregisseure unserer Zeit. Er war 24-mal für einen Oscar nominiert und erhielt die Auszeichnung viermal: 1978 für Der Stadtneurotiker in den Kategorien Bester Regisseur und Bestes Drehbuch, 1986 mit Hannah und ihre Schwestern und 2012 mit Midnight in Paris jeweils für das beste Drehbuch. Allen nahm die jeweilige Auszeichnung nie persönlich entgegen.

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„Ich habe keine Angst vor dem Sterben, ich möchte nur nicht dabeisein, wenn’s passiert.“ Without Feathers, Random House, New York 1975. S. 106

„I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.“


„I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.“

„In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!“

„Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.“

„The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.“

„To you, I'm an atheist.
To God, I'm the loyal opposition.“

„If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.“


„Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.“

„God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.“

„Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.“

„My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.“


„To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.“

„I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.“

„Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.“

„I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know... I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.“

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