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Dave Barry Zitate

David Barry, Jr. ist ein US-amerikanischer humoristischer Bestsellerautor und Pulitzer-Preisträger, der von 1983 bis 2005 eine im Miami Herald erschienene Kolumne geschrieben hat, die in den gesamten USA verbreitet war. Wikipedia  

✵ 3. Juli 1947
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Dave Barry: Zitate auf Englisch

“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”

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Dave Barry

Quelle: Dave Barry Turns Fifty

“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.”

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Dave Barry

Nonfiction, Dave Barry Turns 50 (1998)

“You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!”

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Dave Barry

“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”

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Dave Barry

“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”

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Dave Barry

The Taming of the Screw (1983)

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.”

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Dave Barry

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”

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Dave Barry

“Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.”

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Dave Barry

“When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.”

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Dave Barry

Quelle: Dave Barry Turns Fifty

“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”

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Dave Barry

“Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.”

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Dave Barry

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.”

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Dave Barry

“Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?”

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Dave Barry

“I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.”

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Dave Barry

Quelle: Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism!

“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”

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Dave Barry

Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead (1985)

“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.”

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Dave Barry

Quelle: Kabir, Hajara Muhammad (2010). Northern women development. [Nigeria]. ISBN 978-978-906-469-4. OCLC 890820657

“If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.”

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Dave Barry

“It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.”

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Dave Barry

“Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.”

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Dave Barry

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