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“Worst damnfool mistake I ever made was letting myself be elected Vice President of the United States. Should have stuck with my old chores as Speaker of the House. I gave up the second most important job in the Government for one that didn't amount to a hill of beans. I spent eight long years as Mr. Roosevelt's spare tire. I might still be Speaker if I didn't let them elect me Vice-President.”

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John Nance Garner

Comment shortly after leaving office, on leaving his post as speaker of the United States House of Representative to become the Vice President, quoted by Frank X. Tolbert, "What is Cactus Jack Up to Now," Saturday Evening Post (November 2, 1963) and recounted in Alden Whitman's obituary of Garner in the New York Times (November 8, 1967).

“Not worth a bucket of warm spit.”

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John Nance Garner

Comment to Lyndon B. Johnson on the vice presidency, widely attributed to Garner as early as 1964 http://books.google.com/books?id=q4zpAAAAMAAJ. The quote is sometimes given as using "piss" instead of "spit."