The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part VI: Now We're Getting Somewhere, Miles Standish
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“I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.”
Stanley J. Kunitz and Howard Haycraft (eds.), Twentieth Century Authors, New York: H.W. Wilson Company, 1942, p. 342.
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part II: Ancient Greeks and Worse, Hannibal
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part II: Ancient Greeks and Worse, Cleopatra
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part VI: Now We're Getting Somewhere, Christopher Columbus
The Lion
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part III: Strange Bedfellows, Charlemagne
The Hummingbird
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part IV: A Few Greats, Catherine the Great
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part IV: A Few Greats, Frederick the Great
“Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.”
[Scribner's Magazine, 1937, CII, 6, 19-21, I'm Not the Budget Type, Will Cuppy]
[Scribner's Magazine, 1937, CII, 6, 19-21, I'm Not the Budget Type, Will Cuppy, http://www.unz.org/Pub/Scribners-1937dec-00019, PDF] Retrieved on June 25, 2012.
Footnote: It probably could not fall down if it tried.
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part I: It Seems There Were Two Egyptians, Cheops, or Khufu
“To the seeing eye life is mostly Sparrows.”
The Sparrow
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part II: Ancient Greeks and Worse, Alexander the Great
Comic interview with Jo Ranson, "Living from Can to Mouth," Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Brooklyn Eagle Magazine, November 24, 1929, p. 5.
“[Footnote:] Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!”
The Alligator
How to Become Extinct (1941)
The Zebra
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)
Own Your Own Snake
How to Become Extinct (1941)
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part III: Strange Bedfellows, Charlemagne
The Woolly Mammoth
How to Become Extinct (1941)
The Beaver
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part II: Ancient Greeks and Worse, Hannibal
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part VI: Now We're Getting Somewhere, Montezuma
Footnote: Here we see the working of another Law of Nature: No water, no fish.
The Plesiosaur
How to Become Extinct (1941)
Footnote: There is a species in Central and South America, but it probably came from here.
The Rattlesnake
How to Become Extinct (1941)
“The colonists, it seems, had to "pay taxes to which their consent had never been asked."”
Footnote: Today we pay taxes but our consent has been asked, and we have told the government to go ahead and tax us all they want to. We like it.
The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950), Part V: Merrie England, George III
Footnote: He does this because of his altruistic (parental) instinct. The higher one rises in the vertebrate scale the more altruistic one becomes. The higher vertebrates are just one mass of altruism.
The Three-Spined Stickleback
How to Become Extinct (1941)
Footnote: It is because of his brain that he has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.
The Modern Man
How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)
