The Devil's Dictionary
Original engl.: "Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance."
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The Devil's Dictionary
Original engl.: " Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others."
Des Teufels Wörterbuch