Zitate von Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers Foto
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Joan Rivers

Geburtstag: 8. Juni 1933
Todesdatum: 4. September 2014
Andere Namen: Joan Riversová

Joan Rivers war eine amerikanische Entertainerin.

Zitate Joan Rivers

„My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.“

—  Joan Rivers

As quoted in On Being Blonde (2004), by P. Munier, p. 84

„I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.“

—  Joan Rivers

As quoted in Funny Ladies (2001), by B. Adler, p. 272

„I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes—and six months later you have to start all over again.“

—  Joan Rivers

As quoted in Women Talk, edited by Michèle Brown & Ann OʼConnor (1984)

„It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.“

—  Joan Rivers

Reported in The Quotable Quote Book (Carol Publishing Group, 1990), p. 258

„If God wanted us to bend over he would put diamonds on the floor.“

—  Joan Rivers

„I'm Jewish. I don't work out.."


As quoted in Dick Enberg's Humorous Quotes for All Occasions (2000), p. 101
Variante: I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

„I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.“

—  Joan Rivers

On her plastic surgeries, quoted in The New York Times, 2008 (republished in The New York Daily News http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/joan-rivers-top-10-jokes-celebs-plastic-surgery-article-1.1928398#ixzz3CWeoRaTP

„Never floss with a stranger.“

—  Joan Rivers

As quoted in Words of Wisdom (1990), ed. by W. Safire & L. Safir, p. 358

„Two is company; three is fifty bucks.“

—  Joan Rivers

Reported in The Quotable Quote Book (1990), p. 258

„[Catchphrase:] Oh, grow up!“

—  Joan Rivers

Frequent response to an audience's groans or reactions to her remarks.

„You know you are getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.“

—  Joan Rivers

Reported in The Quote Manual: Wisdom and Wit of the Ages (2005), by R. G. Moscatelli, p. 201

„I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.“

—  Joan Rivers

As quoted in The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (2003), by R. Byrne, 94

„Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa, you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.“

—  Joan Rivers

As quoted in On Being Blonde: Wit and Wisdom from the World's Most Infamous Blondes (2004), by P. Munier, p. 83

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