Eoin Colfer Zitate

„Es konnte nie schaden zu wissen, wo sich das ortsansässige Getier so rumtrieb.“

„Er setzte seine finsterste Miene auf. Böse, sagte er sich, böse, aber hoch intelligent. Und entschlossen, vergiss die Entschlossenheit nicht. […] Er öffnete die Tür.

»Guten Abend«, grüßte er, ganz der perfekte Gastgeber, wenn auch ein hinterhältiger, böser, intelligenter und entschlossener.

Root stand, die leeren Hände demonstrativ ausgestreckt, vor der Tür. Die universale Geste für: Sieh her, ich trage keine große, mörderische Waffe.“

„Immer zwei Schritte voraus, unser Master Artemis. Die Leute sagten, er sei ganz aus dem alten Holz geschnitzt. Doch sie irrten sich. Master Artemis war aus nagelneuem Holz, von einer Sorte, die noch keiner gesehen hatte.“

„Wir machen dem Zirkus ein Ende."
"Verstehe. Und das da sind die Clowns?"
Foaly steckte seinen Kopf durch die Tür. "Entschuldigen Sie, wenn ich Ihre kunstvolle Zirkusmetapher unterbreche, aber was zum Teufel ist das?“

„In dieser Nacht würde Geschichte geschrieben. Und es war nicht die erhebende Art von Geschichte wie bei der Entdeckung der Radioaktivität oder dem ersten Mann auf dem Mond, sondern die finstere Art à la spanische Inquisition oder Absturz der Hindenburg. Finster für Menschen und Unterirdische. Finster für alle.“

„Hat dich jemand reinkommen sehen?"
"Ja, das FBI, die CIA, die NSA, die DEA und das MI6. Ach ja, und die GPB."
"Die GPB?"
"Gesamte Polizeibelegschaft.“

„Du hast ja keine Ahnung, was du getan hast. Die beiden Welten auf diese Weise zusammenzubringen, könnte uns alle ins Unglück stürzen."
"Uns alle interessiert mich nicht, mir geht es nur um mich. Und glauben Sie mir, Captain, mir wird nicht das Geringste passieren.“

„Sie haben diesen Mistkerl genau da erwischt, wo es wehtut: bei seinem Ehrgeiz.“

„Wenn ich gewinne, wird man sagen, ich sei ein Genie, wenn ich verliere, wird es heißen, ich sei übergeschnappt. So wird Geschichte geschrieben.“

„Ich höre mir das nicht länger an. Jede Sekunde, die ich mit dir spreche, ist eine verlorene Sekunde."
Da blickte Root ihm direkt in die Augen.
"Das macht dann, alles in allem, gut sechshundert verlorene Jahre, was, mein“

„Mit genau einem Meter Körpergröße lag Holly nur einen Zentimeter unter dem Elfendurchschnitt, aber ein Zentimeter kann verdammt viel ausmachen, wenn er einem fehlt.“

“Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life.”

“So, what did you get for me?"
Angeline paused for a beat. "Jeans."
"What?" croaked Artemis.
"And a T-shirt.”

“Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?”

“HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book?
FOALY: No. I'm suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it.”

“Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time?"
"Of course we did. They attacked us in Iceland. Remember?"
"No. I was unconscious.”

“Artemis Fowl will never be secondary."

"I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.”

“People are afraid of you, Arty. Girls are terrified of you. You’re a fifteen-year-old in a bespoke suit, and nobody died.”

“Foaly: Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.”

“Artemis: I never tell anybody exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”

“If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.”

“Trust me. I'm a genius.”

“No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.”

“Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.”

“Good. Illegal is always faster.”

“Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.”

“Hey, look—youris saying something."
Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?”

“Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder”

“You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.”

“Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.”

“Who are you?" he asked.
I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.”

“I don't like lollipops.”

“Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told.
--Artemis Fowl”

“In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.”

“A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.”

“I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.”

“You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T-Shirt that read 'I'm a clue”

“The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.”

“No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?”

“Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.”