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Ben „Yahtzee“ Croshaw ist ein englischer Computerspiel-Journalist für das australische Hyper Magazine, die PC Gamer und The Escapist. Sein bekanntestes Format ist die wöchentliche veröffentlichte Videokritik Zero Punctuation. Wikipedia  

✵ 24. Mai 1983
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Ben Croshaw: Zitate auf Englisch

“I've made a lot of box art do a lot of horrible things over the years in the name of critique. SOPA could stop my dirty foreigner ways.”

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Ben Croshaw

18 January 2012
Twitter

“Nowadays, everyone seems to be emotionally dead, like zombies in pinstripe suits. Trudging to work each day to make a living, queueing up at McDonalds for their daily fuel intake, coming home to vegetate in front of the TV for hours on end.”

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Ben Croshaw

22 October 2004
Fully Ramblomatic

“Bush wouldn't be so bad if it was just him jumping up and down on the corpse of international diplomacy, but we've got Blair as well, kneeling behind him and rhythmically planting a kiss on each buttock with each of the American President's gleeful bounds.”

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Ben Croshaw

17 July 2003
Fully Ramblomatic

“A comment on Mogworld's Amazon page has already declared it to be terrible. Proof that future time travellers are among us?”

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Ben Croshaw

12 July 2010
Twitter

“When she meets a powerful man she's more likely to try and blow him away than blow him off. Stop that erection right now, you sick, sick boy. Stop it! Concentrate, that's how!”

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Ben Croshaw

Why it would kick arse to be Lara Croft http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/lara.htm
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“Ha, ha, ha! Never let it be said Americans are unconcerned about foreign countries. You're so nice to us you very kindly elected a complete vegetable as your president, so we can all point and laugh!”

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Ben Croshaw

My Tribute to the U.S.
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“[Downs Syndrome Winnie the Pooh] The minute I saw this in a catalogue I just fell about. It's so brave of Disney to introduce stuffed toys that represent serious illnesses in order to educate the little kiddies. Me, I just want this so I can make my very own 'Victorian Sanitarium' playset. Downs Syndrome Pooh will be kept perpetually in a bleak little cardboard cell, bullied by Doctor Action Man and Nurse Princess Leia, occasionally brought out to be brutally hosed down with cold water every week. I'm thinking of sending it to Hasbro.”

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Ben Croshaw

Yahtzee's Christmas Wishlist http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/wishlist.htm
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“Did you see that recent flick, Hollow Man? Good effects but the dialogue was crap. Kevin Bacon is a hot shot scientist who, together with his hot shot scientist mates, turns himself invisible, but then finds that he can't turn himself back. So he goes insane and decides to kill all his mates, blow up the lab and ride off into the sunset on a very confused horse.”

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Ben Croshaw

Why it would kick arse to be invisible http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/invis.htm
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“So I finally sold out and bought an Ipod the other day. I haven't sold out to the point that I'd spell it with a lower case I and a capital P like the makers insist upon, though.”

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Ben Croshaw

5 June 2007
Fully Ramblomatic

“Games should be remembered, not remastered.”

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Ben Croshaw

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/9053-Extra-Punctuation-Keeping-Old-Games-Intact.2
Other Articles

“I love having my conscious brain deactivated by a mindless repetitive task and the rest of it drifting off into the wonderful lands of make believe.”

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Ben Croshaw

3 April 2007
Fully Ramblomatic

“The national dress of Great Britain is, from the ground up, a pair of Roman sandals, a kilt, a gunbelt, a t-shirt bearing the likeness of Mr. T, a garland of flowers and a horned Viking helmet.”

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Ben Croshaw

How to be British
Fully Ramblomatic, Features

“The cake is vanilla; I asked for chocolate; The tears They will not stop. (Prince of Persia: Emo Warrior)”

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Ben Croshaw

Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“I rolled my eyes at Rose, but she returned the look with a scowl which suggested that, if we ever got out of this alive, she would have some issues to address with myself and my polaroid camera.”

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Ben Croshaw

Quelle: Fullyramblomatic Novels, Articulate Jim: A Search For Something, Chapter Nine

“being invisible means you can immerse yourself in a crowd and start clasping boobs and buttocks, then leap aside and laugh as some poor chap gets a clip round the ear. Laugh quietly obviously. And changing rooms! You can sneak into changing rooms and sit right there in the middle of the place while pretty girls get wet and take all their clothes off. You could go and hide in the showers themselves, but since the water on your body wouldn't be invisible you'd have to rely on them not noticing a semi-transparent man appear in the corner. You could pretend to be a novelty glass statue, but you wouldn't be able to explain the developing glass stiffy.”

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Ben Croshaw

Why it would kick arse to be invisible http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/invis.htm
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“Perfectly coloured to be camouflaged totally in a 60's living room, the zebra has powerful legs and a thirst for blood!”

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Ben Croshaw

Fight or Flight?
Fully Ramblomatic, Features

“In answer to your first question, of course God was good in bed! He's perfect in every way! God not only knows the secret path to the clitoris, but he's also aware of a little nerve just underneath the right shoulder blade connected directly to a lady's pleasure centre!”

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Ben Croshaw

Ask Yahtzee 3
Fully Ramblomatic, Features

“A 'relationship' occurs when two people run out of things to say to each other, so they shut each other up by putting their genitals in each other's mouths. A break up comes about when they run out of things to do with those, too.”

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Ben Croshaw

11 November 2010
Fully Ramblomatic

“Is it just me, or are the number of comments steadily going down each week? Am I just losing my touch, or has everyone wised up and realised that commenting on internet videos is viciously futile?”

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Ben Croshaw

4 October 2009
Fully Ramblomatic

“Thinking about morality. If you had to choose, would you save one baby or five old people? What if the baby had a Hitler moustache?”

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Ben Croshaw

31 December 2010
Twitter

“This [article] doesn't mean that I actually want to be Lara Croft. In writing this I'm not admitting that I occasionally dress up in a tight top and khaki hotpants and prance around pointing two hairdryers at my dog. In this little article I am pointing out why, if you happen to be Lara Croft, that you should be very pleased with yourself.”

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Ben Croshaw

Why it would kick arse to be Lara Croft http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/lara.htm
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“Saying that a smoker inhales over 4000 chemicals is as meaningful as saying that fun runners pass over 4000 different kinds of rock, and because that rock may contain dinosaur fossils, said fun runners are at risk of velociraptor attack.”

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Ben Croshaw

21 March 2007
Fully Ramblomatic

“Women admire naked women as the kind of body they would like to have, while men admire naked women as the kind of body they would like to have tied down and squealing on the end of their dicks.”

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Ben Croshaw

12 January 2005
Fully Ramblomatic

“Piss poo dangly shit arse fuck wee…. Fuck cunt willy willy wank piss mung.”

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Ben Croshaw

26 November 2004
Fully Ramblomatic

“With infinite choice at our fingertips, we don't have to expose ourselves for an instant to anything that challenges our views if we don't want to. So the walls of the echo chambers grow stronger and stronger, until we only hear from the echo chamber next door when the shouty extremists are shouting, and their absurd views only make us more convinced of our own righteousness.”

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Ben Croshaw

https://v1.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/video-games/columns/extra-punctuation/14200-Hatred-And-Postal-Are-Deliberately-Offensive-So-Stop-Caring
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