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Ben „Yahtzee“ Croshaw ist ein englischer Computerspiel-Journalist für das australische Hyper Magazine, die PC Gamer und The Escapist. Sein bekanntestes Format ist die wöchentliche veröffentlichte Videokritik Zero Punctuation. Wikipedia  

✵ 24. Mai 1983
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Ben Croshaw: Zitate auf Englisch

“Oh, and for the benefit of those people who think I haven't been English enough in my recent articles: Bum bollocks tosser cor blimey guvnor eccles cakes apples and pears god save the queen fish and chips I hate yanks etc.”

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Ben Croshaw

More from the Poetry Corner http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/mcavity.htm
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“Rest assured, Mogworld's not being entirely released online. Just the first part. I would still like your money. That would be lovely.”

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Ben Croshaw

16 December 2010
Twitter

“I once saw some magician bloke turn a carton of orange juice into orange juice, beer, milk, coke and ginger ale. That makes him five times better than Jesus or something.”

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Ben Croshaw

Why it Would Kick Arse to be Jesus
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“So, Americans, then. Self-appointed vigilante defenders of the world, kind of like Superman, if Superman was retarded and only fought crime when he felt like it.”

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Ben Croshaw

3 July 2003
Fully Ramblomatic

“Keep in mind that this is only my opinion, but also keep in mind that I'm always right. (The Only Good Comics on the Internet)”

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Ben Croshaw

Fully Ramblomatic, Features

“Since I long ago decided that I hated kids and never wanted to have them, my reproductive instinct has transferred to my creativity, I've always wanted to create works that will ensure I'm remembered after I die. I don't think I've done that yet, though.”

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Ben Croshaw

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/issues/issue_150/4915-Where-Things-are-Hollow
Other Articles

“I am a consumer, part of the system of capitalism. To the corporations that control our lives, I am nothing but a huge mouth wearing designer jeans, just one of billions, to be cajoled or threatened with advertising into giving my money to people who already have too much. Although I vocally consider this a despicable state of affairs, I buy their loveless food and wear their manufactured garments. I am simultaneously antagonist and component.”

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Ben Croshaw

7 October 2003
Fully Ramblomatic

“Yahtzee was born in Warwickshire, England, on the day of the great storm of 1983. Twenty years later, when England had become too small to accommodate the five hundred kilometre-wide tumour growing out of the back of his neck, he moved to Brisbane, Australia, where a chance encounter with an enraged surfer caused the tumour to become detached. It has now gone on to star in a number of Japanese fetish videos, while Yahtzee occupies a treehouse on the edge of the city, struggling to learn how to live with corks around his hat. The enraged surfer tries to keep in touch, but Yahtzee never answers his phone.”

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Ben Croshaw

About page http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/about.htm
Fully Ramblomatic

“Ah, those were the days. David Bowie, Status Quo, The Beatles … no end of artists I could say I enjoyed in order to sound clever and pretentious.”

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Ben Croshaw

The Dark Side of Beatles Songs
Fully Ramblomatic, Reviews

“I have a very patchy memory of my childhood. It's one of the things about myself I'm most proud of. (More From the Poetry Corner)”

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Ben Croshaw

Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“But as any sixteen-year-old sweatily bringing a Playboy up to the counter of a newsagent's expecting everyone in the room to suddenly point and start screaming like the guy from Invasion of the Body Snatchers will tell you, titties become considerably more satisfying when you have to work for them.”

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Ben Croshaw

26 December 2010
Twitter

“Evoking fear is, in itself, an art form – and nothing in the entire history of storytelling has explored it better than video games.”

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Ben Croshaw

http://web.archive.org/web/20081015182445/http://www.news.com.au/technology/story/0,25642,24493980-5014239,00.html
Other Articles

“You know how it is, you go away for a week and all the work piles up like a big heap of mail holding your front door closed.”

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Ben Croshaw

8 November 2009
Fully Ramblomatic

“It all smacks of trying to have your cake and eat it, although I’ve never understood that phrase. I don’t know what else you could do with a cake. Hold doors open, maybe.”

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Ben Croshaw

6 March 2006
Fully Ramblomatic

“I'm going on a picnic," went Penfold. "And I'm taking anthrax, beer, coffee, doughnuts, estrogen, flamingoes, glue, horses, ink, jelly, Knackwurst, lemonade, murder and Nurofen.”

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Ben Croshaw

Quelle: Fullyramblomatic Novels, Fog Juice, Chapter Fifteen

“And then we come to the physics engine. Oh, the physics engine, for which so much praise has been sung. What they say is all true. It is fantastic the way you can pick up boxes, the way they fall, the way they tip over, the way they smash into bits when you hit them.”

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Ben Croshaw

On Half-Life 2, 26 November 2004
Fully Ramblomatic

“Starring Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving, The Slightly Mannish Woman and A Big Keanu-Reeves Shaped Piece Of Wood! (On the Matrix Reloaded, 24 June 2003)”

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Ben Croshaw

Fully Ramblomatic

“Idea for movie: alcohol-based LXG-style crossover in which buddy heroes Jack Daniels and Jim Beam sail around the world with Captain Morgan. Jack's girlfriend is called Midori and she likes having sex on the beach. Their smartmouth talking pet is the Famous Grouse.”

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Ben Croshaw

2 June 2011
Twitter

“I heard a story that Guinness once decided to stop advertising. Everybody knew what Guinness was. Everyone who liked and regularly drunk Guinness wouldn't find out anything new about Guinness from TV spots and they were guaranteed sales as long as St. Patrick's Day existed. But you know what happened? Their sales plummeted. Very, very quickly. So next time you complain about adverts on TV or in the cinema or even on my online videos, remember that it wouldn't be necessary if you weren't all such flighty cunts.”

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Ben Croshaw

4 August 2010
Fully Ramblomatic

“Did we learn nothing from Terminator 3? Apart from the fact that Arnold Schwarzeneggar can act in the same way that octopi can figure skate.”

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Ben Croshaw

27 March 2005
Fully Ramblomatic

“Because as any nerd will tell you, our greatest weapon in the ongoing battle against those buff sporty types and the suave prettyboys are the Nerds With Girlfriends. Nothing infuriates them more.”

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Ben Croshaw

Person Without Girlfriend
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“Asking after my wellbeing is like asking after the wellbeing of someone in Sweden because a fire broke out in Portugal. Yes alright, Americans, go and look up where those countries are, I'll wait. (In reference to the fires in Victoria, Australia, 12 February 2009)”

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Ben Croshaw

Fully Ramblomatic

“So if you're still playing the game or care in the slightest about having the plot spoiled, try not to accidentally trip, fall forward and highlight all of the following text.”

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Ben Croshaw

3 June 2009
Fully Ramblomatic

“On the bright side, however, it means I get to stay at home and stare at a computer screen all day as opposed to go to work and stare at a computer screen all day.”

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Ben Croshaw

On being sick, 15 May 2003
Fully Ramblomatic

“Maybe it was the quest that mattered most, not the outcome. (The Last Bit)”

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Ben Croshaw

Fullyramblomatic Novels, Articulate Jim: A Search For Something

“I'm not misogynist. I resent that. I hate women, yes, but only because I hate everyone.”

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Ben Croshaw

25 June 2010
Twitter

“I don't post on forums or comments for the same reason I don't attempt to french kiss pneumatic drills.”

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Ben Croshaw

24 January 2010
Twitter

“[PDP100 Duck Popcorn Maker] Actually I don't really want this, I just wanted to show you it, as this is the most disgusting popcorn maker I have ever seen. Actually this might be good for my Victorian Sanitarium playset. He could be the weak-stomached young doctor who keeps throwing up when they bring in Downs Syndrome Pooh for more experimental brain surgery.”

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Ben Croshaw

Yahtzee's Christmas Wishlist http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/wishlist.htm
Fully Ramblomatic, Essays

“…so come along and watch me fearfully from fifty yards away like you usually do.”

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Ben Croshaw

6 September 2009
Fully Ramblomatic

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