Woody Allen: Zitate auf Englisch (seite 3)

“I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.”

“My brain: it's my second favorite organ.”

“I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.”

“What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?”

“I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”

“The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.”

“On bisexuality: It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”

“I can levitate birds. No one cares.”

“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”

“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”

“I'm not a drinker — my body will not tolerate spirits. I had two Martinis on New Year's Eve and I tried to hijack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.”

“I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.”

“More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”

“The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you.”

“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”

“I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.”

“Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.”

“Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.”

“The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.”