Tucker Max:
26
Zitate
0
Gefällt mir
Tucker Max: Zitate auf Englisch
“You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.”
Tucker Max
buch
Assholes Finish First
Quelle: Assholes Finish First
“Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me"
Tucker: "I don't understand the question.”
Tucker Max
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
The Tucker Max Stories
Quelle: I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
Kontext: Tucker: Are you married?
Girl: Yes.
Tucker: How good is the marriage?
Girl: Very good.
Tucker: So there is no chance of us hooking up?
Girl: No.
Tucker: Well, do you have any hot friends who aren't fucking prudes? Hey--where are you going? I was only kidding! I respect the sanctity of the monogamous relationship! WHORE!
Kontext: Tucker: Do you hate the World Bank?
Girl: Uhh, umm, well, I mean, yeah, I feel that...
Tucker: You don't hate the World Bank.
Girl: I don't?
Tucker: No. You're mad at your father. You just want daddy to hug you more.
Girl: What?
Tucker: You were a sociology major weren't you?
Girl: NO!
Tucker: What was your major?
Girl: [Pauses] Uhhh, English Literature.
Tucker: [Pause--to give her a look of contempt] Did your parents send you a bill for college? How are those Marxist Literary Critique classes working out for you? You work at Barnes and Noble don't you?
Girl: NO--I wor--
Tucker: Shouldn't you be blocking an intersection right now? How many anti-sweatshop petitions have you signed--EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE REEBOKS ON. Very-anti globalization to wear those with your animal tested Clinque make-up made in Nepal. Well, at least you're consistent in your shameless hypocrisy.
Girl: What a fascist piece of shi--
Tucker: You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
Girl: [A mishmash of stammered half insults]
Tucker: Seriously--If I stuck my dick in your mouth would that shut you up?
Girl: Wha... YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!
Tucker: HEY--Don't blame me for the wound in your crotch. [As I walk off] By the way, you owe us a rib.
“Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?”
The Absinthe Donuts Story http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_absinthe_donuts_story.phtml#280,
The Tucker Max Stories
“Great Holy Jesus--it looks like he fell into Kentucky Fried Movie.”
The Austin Road Trip http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_austin_road_trip.phtml#281,
The Tucker Max Stories
“We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating.”
The Absinthe Donuts Story http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_absinthe_donuts_story.phtml#280,
The Tucker Max Stories
“I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.”
The Absinthe Donuts Story http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_absinthe_donuts_story.phtml#280,
The Tucker Max Stories
“…and that we were now those guys…who started a fight at a Harry Potter book party.”
Nantucket Sucks http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/nantucket_sucks.phtml#675,
The Tucker Max Stories
Action Figures http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=126574&postcount=22,
The Tucker Max Stories
“Hey man, so can you speak to dolphins and pilot whales with that forehead of yours?”
The Midget Story http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_midget_story.phtml,
The Tucker Max Stories
The Midget Story http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_midget_story.phtml,
The Tucker Max Stories
My 21st Birthday http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/my_21st_birthday.phtml#612,
The Tucker Max Stories
“9:00: I don't know what I want. I just point at the Dollar Menu and say, 'Give me all of that.”
The Absinthe Donuts Story http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_absinthe_donuts_story.phtml#280,
The Tucker Max Stories
The Absinthe Donuts Story http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_absinthe_donuts_story.phtml#280,
The Tucker Max Stories
The Tattoo Story http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_tattoo_story.phtml#997,
The Tucker Max Stories
The Tucker Max Stories
Tucker goes to hockey game, causes trouble http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_goes_to_hockey_game_causes_trouble.phtml#279,
The Tucker Max Stories
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZC6zdVKoNr8 (March 2010).
The Austin Road Trip http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_austin_road_trip.phtml#281,
The Tucker Max Stories
“Nose full of fart, mouth full of cock, she never even paused.”
Girl almost beats Tucker at his own game http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/girl_almost_beats_tucker_at_his_own_game.phtml#611,
The Tucker Max Stories
