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“I confess that it isn't easy to enter on football with the name of someone who is already in football. I feel that with my own son. He already lives under the pressure of being a son of mine. For that I admire Rui Águas and Maldini, who managed to live with the weight of that pressure, and already did a lot.”

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José Mourinho

Chelsea FC, Doctorate Honoris Causa degree award (23 March 2009)

“I am no longer Chelsea coach and I do not have to defend them any more, so I think it is correct if I say Drogba is a diver.”

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José Mourinho

http://www.insideworldsoccer.com/2008/10/drogba-is-diver-says-mourinho.html
2008

“This is nothing against Sir Alex whatsoever. After the game on Wednesday we were together in my office and we spoke and drank wine. Unfortunately it was a very bad bottle of wine and he was complaining, so when we go to Old Trafford for the second leg, on my birthday, I will take a beautiful bottle of Portuguese wine.”

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José Mourinho

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/chelsea/4175077.stm
Chelsea FC

“I would say if all the names you wrote in the last few days are correct we would have a 50-player squad and I hate to work with big squads.”

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José Mourinho

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/chelsea/3769431.stm
Chelsea FC

“I don't want to be, and it isn't part of my personality. I'm still going to be the same until I was today but with more responsibilities.”

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José Mourinho

Chelsea FC, Doctorate Honoris Causa degree award (23 March 2009)

“As we say in Portugal, they brought the bus and they left the bus in front of the goal.”

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José Mourinho

https://www.goal.com/en/news/1689/comedy/2009/07/10/1374944/10-classic-jose-mourinho-quotes
Chelsea FC

“For me, pressure is bird flu. I'm feeling a lot of pressure with the problem in Scotland. It's not fun and I'm more scared of it than football.”

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José Mourinho

http://www.goal.com/en/news/1716/champions-league/2009/02/23/1122426/italy-v-england-10-classic-jose-mourinho-quotes
2006

“It’s not important how we play. If you have a Ferrari and I have a small car, to beat you in a race I have to break your wheel or put sugar in your tank.”

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José Mourinho

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/ead01cae-4f03-11df-b8f4-00144feab49a.html#axzz35BKDKkBS
2010

“I did it because I want to push my son to do the same. I also did it because I want to push the young players on my team to have a proper haircut, not the Rastafarian or the others they have.”

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José Mourinho

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7004282.stm
Chelsea FC

“He must really think I'm a great guy. He must think that, because otherwise He would not have given me so much. I have a great family. I work in a place where I've always dreamt of working. He has helped me out so much that He must have a very high opinion of me. [When asked by the Spanish radio network Cope what he believed God thought about him].”

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José Mourinho

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703498804576156263277820144.html?KEYWORDS=GABRIELE+MARCOTTI
2011

“If I am hated at Barcelona, it is their problem but not mine. Fear is not a word in my football dictionary.”

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José Mourinho

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=791482&sec=europe&cc=3436
2010

“If I wanted to have an easy job I would have stayed at Porto. Beautiful blue chair, the UEFA Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me.”

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José Mourinho

http://www.fifa.com/worldfootball/news/newsid=1033132.html
2004

“We won the tie in Barcelona but everyone talks about Barcelona winning and says we parked the bus in front of the goal. We didn't park the bus, we parked the plane and we did it for two reasons. One, because we only had 10 men and two, because we beat them 3-1 at San Siro, not by parking the bus, or the boat or the airplane but by smashing them.”

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José Mourinho

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2010/may/22/champions-league-final-jose-mourinho
2010

“A brilliant reaction. I hate it when players just walk off. [Following Arjen Robben's sharp exit down the tunnel after being substituted against Aston Villa. ]”

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José Mourinho

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7004282.stm
Chelsea FC

“Look at my haircut. I am ready for the war.”

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José Mourinho

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7004282.stm
Chelsea FC

“It is clear that I will end my career without having coached Barça.”

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José Mourinho

http://www.insideworldsoccer.com/2010/04/jose-mourinho-i-could-never-coach-barca.html
2010

“Sometimes you see beautiful people with no brains. Sometimes you have ugly people who are intelligent, like scientists. Our pitch is a bit like that. From the top it's a disgrace but the ball rolls at normal speed.”

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José Mourinho

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7004282.stm
Chelsea FC

“My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away.”

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José Mourinho

After his Yorkshire Terrier had issues with customs.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7004282.stm
Chelsea FC

“A player from Man City showed half of his ass for two seconds and it was a big nightmare. But this is a real nightmare.”

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José Mourinho

Comparing Petr Cech's nasty injury with Joey Barton's bottom-baring antics.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7004282.stm
Chelsea FC

“Maybe the guy drank red wine or beer with breakfast instead of milk.”

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José Mourinho

After a Sheffield United fan threw a bottle at Frank Lampard
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/funny_old_game/7004282.stm
Chelsea FC

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