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“In the first-half we were like the Dog and Duck, in the second-half we were like Real Madrid. We can't go on like that. At full-time I was at them like an irritated Jack Russell.”

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Ian Holloway

Happy Holloways - the crazy quotes which defined football in 2010, Goal.com, James, Daly, 2010-12-30, 2011-04-29 http://www.goal.com/en-gb/news/2896/premier-league/2010/12/30/2277614/happy-holloways-the-crazy-quotes-which-defined-football-in,
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“If you're a burglar, it's no good poncing about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy.”

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Ian Holloway

Sport quotes of the week, Charles, Chris, 2009-10-14, BBC Spot, 2009-10-14, Quotez http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/funny_old_game/8302454.stm,
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“Reporter: Ian, have you got any injury worries? Holloway: No, I'm fully fit, thank you.”

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Ian Holloway

“I'd rather do that than build chicken sheds no-one wanted!”

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Ian Holloway

On Blackpool making the Championship play-off final in 2010 having spent a year out of football making hen houses.
Sport Quotes of the Week, Charles, Chris, 2010-05-12, BBC Sport, 2010-05-22, Quotez http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/chrischarles/2010/05/quotes_of_the_week_24.html,
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“I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark.”

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Ian Holloway

Reported on The Football League Show, BBC 1, 26 September 2009.
Gordon Strachan v Ian Holloway: Sportsmail picks their top 10 funny quotes ahead of Middlesbrough's showdown with Blackpool, 2009-12-08, Mail Online, 2011-04-29 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1234084/Gordon-Strachan-v-Ian-Holloway-Sportsmail-picks-10-funny-quotes-ahead-Middlesbroughs-showdown-Blackpool.html,
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“In football you need to have everything in your cake mix to make the cake taste right. One little bit of ingredient that Tony uses in his cake gets talked about all the time is Rory’s throw. Call that cinnamon and he’s got a cinnamon flavoured cake. It’s not fair and it’s not right and it’s only a small part of what he does.”

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Ian Holloway

On Tony Pulis's style of management. Mirror Football, 10 December 2010
Holloway uses bizarre cake analogy for Pulis' Stoke style, Mirror Football, 2010-12-11, Jeremy, Butler, 2010-12-10 http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/news/Stoke-v-Blackpool-Ian-Holloway-blasts-critics-of-Tony-Pulis-style-by-using-a-bizarre-cake-analogy-article648761.html,
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“"To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She wasn't the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee"
- on the "ugly" win against Chesterfield.”

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Ian Holloway

Gordon Strachan v Ian Holloway: Sportsmail picks their top 10 funny quotes ahead of Middlesbrough's showdown with Blackpool, 2009-12-08, Mail Online, 2011-04-29 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1234084/Gordon-Strachan-v-Ian-Holloway-Sportsmail-picks-10-funny-quotes-ahead-Middlesbroughs-showdown-Blackpool.html,
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“The kid makes you sick. He looks the part, he walks the part, he is the part. He's six-foot something, fit as a flea, good-looking - he's got to have something wrong with him…. Hopefully he's hung like a hamster! That would make us all feel better!”

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Ian Holloway

On Cristiano Ronaldo
"Holloway column" , BBC SPORTS(4 april 2008) http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7329117.stm
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“Apparently it's my fault that the Titanic sank.”

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Ian Holloway

On criticism from Plymouth Argyle fans during Leicester City's match against Plymouth Argyle. Holloway Column, BBC Sport: Football (website), retrieved 15 February 2008, page now lapsed.
Gordon Strachan v Ian Holloway: Sportsmail picks their top 10 funny quotes ahead of Middlesbrough's showdown with Blackpool, 2009-12-08, Mail Online, 2011-04-29 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1234084/Gordon-Strachan-v-Ian-Holloway-Sportsmail-picks-10-funny-quotes-ahead-Middlesbroughs-showdown-Blackpool.html,
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“Why haven't they got cameras? The officials can speak to each other easily enough now. Why aren't we using laptops that are linked up and can give a decision in five seconds? A chimpanzee could do it - with not much training. We might as well go back to being cavemen, grab our girl by the hair, drag her into the cave whether she wants to come in or not because we may as well live in that age. We've come forward, haven't we?”

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Ian Holloway

Sport Quotes of the Week, Charles, Chris, 2009-10-14, BBC Sport, 2009-10-14, Quotez http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/funny_old_game/8302454.stm,
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