— Mary Howitt, book The Spider and the Fly
„Even if you’re not particularly religious, then you have to admit that religion surrounds us even in the most mundane aspects of our lives. I was trying to rent a car, and the bloke said to me: "You’re not covered for acts of God."
I said: "What do you mean by that?", he said: [waving arms] "Woooooh!"
I said, "Can you be a bit more specific?", and he went, [vaguely gesticulating] "Eh… ooooh… uh?"
I said, "I’m intrigued because you said 'acts of God', and not gods, or spirits, or jinn, or nymphs, but 'God', a capital God, a monotheistic religion, maybe a Judeo-Christian religion, which would imply a belief system, which would perhaps lead to free-will and determinism, so logically anything that man does directly or indirectly is in fact an act of God, so I’m not covered for anything!"
He said, "I’ll get the manager."
Then I said, "What do you mean by an act of God? What do you mean by that?"
He said, "I dunno, a plague of locusts or something."
"'A plague of locusts'? They swarm round the vehicle, rip the wing mirrors off, and I’m liable for a fifty pound excess?”
And he said, "No, like, rain or something."
I said, "Yeah, but how much rain? It’s drizzling a bit now, is that an act of God? At what point does the rain reach a certain level beyond which it takes on the more apocalyptic mantle of the water-based punishment of the Lord!?"
And he said, [despairing] "I just work Saturdays."
I said "You can’t answer me, can you? Your policy is riddled with theological inconsistency. You disgust me. You twist and turn. You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly-convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey, the so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralysing venom, and the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing. Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing: [imitating spider] 'Siberian spider have good leg, have nice day, can catch fly, can make web, can catch fly for family, I can do nothing, my leg, it drags behind! It drags! [audience laughs] And you laugh! You make fun! Oh, ha, big joke! I am failure! I am freak! [singing] But in my dreams I can fly, I'm the greatest spider in town. But I wake and it's cold, and I feel so old, and my legs are dragging me down.'"
And then the manager came out, and he said: “Stop all that spider singing."“
„"Will you walk into my parlour?" said a spider to a fly;
"'T is the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy."“
— Mary Howitt, book The Spider and the Fly
The Spider and the Fly, reported in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919).
„I'm frightened by your behaviour. I woke up this morning and you said good morning and i said good morning, what do you feel like doing today, and you said well i sort of have to do this thing, and i said what thing and you said go to the reading of my father's will, and I said what are you talking about and then you told me that your dad had died. THIS MORNING.“
— Daniel Handler, book Adverbs
Adverbs (2006), Immediately
— Alexander Mackenzie 2nd Prime Minister of Canada 1822 - 1892
August 1872 debate Sarnia - to Macdonald in declining Macdonald’s offer for Mackenzie to join the Coalition Cabinet in 1865 upon George Brown’s resignation in protest - Buckingham page 324
„(About Prince) I recently met him, he's a Jehovah's witness, right? The first thing i said to him was "omigaaawdifuckinloveyourmusic". He looked at me with that look of his and said very softly 'uh, you have to pray that you can ban swearing out of your live, otherwise you can never please the lord" Me : I'll fuckin' try!, followed with 'did i fuckin' curse?' in which he responded "yeah, you fuckin' did".(laughs) Okay that last part I made up, but he was very serious about it. So i thought, my god, this is the guy from "Head" and from "Darling Nikki" who is mastrubating in the lobby from a hotel. In his studio he even has a curseing jar, everybody that swear has to put a $50 into it. I was speechless, and let me tell you, that does not happen to me alot. But, he is and stays a genius.“
— Anastacia American singer-songwriter 1968
General Quotes, Het stomende dubbelinterview: Natalia en Anastacia http://www.humo.be/humo-archief/29756/het-stomende-dubbelinterview-natalia-en-anastacia, Humo, September 27, 2010.
„The man that owned the company that I worked for called me into the office and said how can you be on our payroll and have your own New York Times ad! This has to stop! And I said but it can't I have orders to ship. And he said well you're fired. And that's how I started my business.“
— Anna Sui American fashion designer 1964
CNN Interview (July 31, 2004)
„When I am in that darkness I do not remember anything about anything human, or the God-man, or anything which has a form. Nevertheless, I see all and I see nothing. As what I have spoken of withdraws and stays with me, I see the God-man. He draws my soul with great gentleness and he sometimes says to me: "You are I and I am you." I see, then, those eyes and that face so gracious and attractive as he leans to embrace me. In short, what proceeds from those eyes and that face is what I said that I saw in that previous darkness which comes from within, and which delights me so that I can say nothing about it. When I am in the God-man my soul is alive. And I am in the God-man much more than in the other vision of seeing God with darkness. The soul is alive in that vision concerning the God-man. The vision with darkness, however, draws me so much more that there is no comparison. On the other hand, I am in the God-man almost continually. It began in this continual fashion on a certain occasion when I was given the assurance that there was no intermediary between God and myself. Since that time there has not been a day or a night in which I did not continually experience this joy of the humanity of Christ.“
— Angela of Foligno Italian saint 1248 - 1309
The Memorial and Instructions, p. 205
„… they said, "Sir, we want to tell you a joke." I said, "You don't have time to tell me a joke." They said, "Oh, you gotta hear this one." So I came in, they shut the door, and they said, "Here's"— I said, "What's the joke?" I said, "What's the joke?" They said, "9/11. Saddam Hussein. If he didn't do it, too bad. He should've! Because we're gonna get him anyway." I said, "But that's not funny." I said, "That's not very funny." They said, "It sure isn't."“
— Wesley Clark American general and former Democratic Party presidential candidate 1944
Recalling a conversation with unidentified generals at the Pentagon "about ten days after 9/11" (circa September 21, 2001). Real Time with Bill Maher [2.22] (episode 42), October 29, 2004; panel discussion with Maher, Kevin Costner, and Richard Belzer.
„Back around 1971, I was playing in a bar in Chicago one night, and after the show, I was packing up my guitar and stuff, and I was walking out the door, and a little guy stopped me. And he said, "Arlo, before you leave, I wanna sing you a song." I said "Come on man, I don't wanna hear no songs. I hate songs. I don't even like my songs! Why should I like your songs?" I was just tired, I wanted to get out of there, I was being a butt-head. He said, "Arlo, I just wanna sing you one song." I said, "Tell you what. Buy me beer. I'll sit here and drink it. As long as it lasts, you can do whatever you want." He said, "That sounds like a good deal."“
— Arlo Guthrie American folk singer 1947
I said "It does?" It turned out to be one of the finer beers of my entire life. Arlo talking about his first meeting with Steve Goodman, who would perform to him "The City of New Orleans" (Live in Sydney)
„But,' I [Dmitri Karamazov] asked, 'how will man be after that? Without God and the future life? It means everything is permitted now, one can do anything?' 'Didn't you know?' he said. And he laughed. 'Everything is permitted to the intelligent man,' he said.“
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky Russian author 1821 - 1881
The Brothers Karamazov (1879–1880), Book XI, ch. 4 (trans. Pevear and Volokhonsky)
„Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me?
Some people wanna die so they can be free
(I said) Life is just a game, we're all just the same…do you wanna play?“
— Prince American pop, songwriter, musician and actor 1958
Song lyrics, Controversy (1981), Controversy
„Is that what he said? Is that what he said? He can talk! No, it’s true. I’m terrible. Do you know what? I’ve got quite an easy job. I’ve just got to look at people, say lines and not laugh. And two of those I do okay-ish. But basically I’m just shit at quite an ordinary job, namely not laughing. It’s not that hard not to laugh. The guy who sold me my travel card, he didn’t wet himself laughing. You just don’t do it.“
— Tamsin Greig English actress 1966
From an interview on the Green Wing "microsite", When told that Julian Rhind-Tutt claimed that she was quite bad about corpsing.
„A traveller at Sparta, standing long upon one leg, said to a Lacedæmonian, "I do not believe you can do as much." "True," said he, "but every goose can."“
— Plutarch ancient Greek historian and philosopher 46 - 127
Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919), Remarkable Speeches
„To change the subject, he said, “I’ve been thinking a lot.”
“Yeah,” he said, trying not to fidget, a weird feeling in his head. “I reckon free will is bullshit.”
“You need to get some sleep, Spider.”
“No, no, I feel okay, more or less.”
“Free will,” she said, shaking her head.
“It’s an illusion. That’s all it is. Everything is already sorted out, every decision, every possibility, it’s all determined, scripted, whatever.”
Iris was looking at him as if she was worried. “Where’d all this come from?”
“I’ve been to the End of bloody Time, Iris. From that perspective, everything is done and settled. Basically, everything that could happen has happened. It’s all mapped out, documented, diagrammed, written up in great big books, and ignored.”
“You’re a crazy bastard, you know that, Spider?”
“Maybe not crazy enough,” he said.
Iris was still struggling for traction on the conversation. “You think everything is predetermined? Is that it? But what about—”
“No. You just think you have free will.”
“So, according to you,” Iris said, looking bewildered, “a guy who kills his wife was always going to kill her. She was always going to die.”
“From his point of view, he doesn’t know that, and neither does she, but yeah. She was always a goner, so to speak.”
“There is no way I can accept this,” she said. “It’s intolerable. It robs individual people of moral agency. According to you nobody chooses to do anything; they’re just following a script. That means nobody’s responsible for anything.”
“I said free will is an illusion. We think we’ve got moral agency, we think we make choices. It’s a perfect illusion. It just depends on your point of view.”
“It’s a bloody pathway to madness, I reckon,” Iris said.
“I dunno,” he said. “Right now, sitting here, thinking about everything, I think it makes a lot of sense. Kinda, anyway.”“
— K. A. Bedford, Time Machines Repaired While-U-Wait
Time Machines Repaired While-U-Wait (2008), “Think you’ll find that’s just an illusion,” she said, and flashed a tiny smile. Chapter 22 (pp. 271-272)